neljapäev, oktoober 04, 2007

Karma kättemaks. Karmas Revenge.

Just see mind nüüd tabas.
Thats what hit me now.
Tegelikult pole nii öelda päris õige, karma on pigem vääramatu asjade kulg, mille iseloom ei ole agressiivne.
Actually, I guess that is not a correct way to put it, karma is more like an unavoidable course life will take for some reason.
Ühesõnaga - nüüd oli mul õnn trepist alla kukkuda ja king pooleks murda. Imede ime, et ma ise mitte kusagilt murtud ei ole! See oli nagu mingis totakas telenovelas, teate, niimoodi veeresin kahe platvormi jagu. Pea kergelt pööritab, muud pole midagi.
Anyway - I was blessed with a broken show after falling down the stairs, and it is a true miracle I am not broken from any place myself. It was like a stupid soap opera, I just rolled and flipped down for a fair 25 steps. I feel a little lightheaded, else nothing.
Siis kappasin Kaubamaja kingsepa poole, ent poolel teel pidas mind Portaal Galerii tädi kinni, sest nad kolisid parasjagu asju ümber (lähevad ühe endise vene suveniiripoe ruumidesse), ja nii ma siis seisin seal varba peal, konts käes, ja kuulasin nende soove asjade suhtes, mida sinna edaspidi teha võiksin.
Then when galloping towards a show repair shop in the mall, I was stopped by the gallery manager because they were just in the middle of moving, and so I was stsanding there, on my toe, holding the heel of the shoe in my hand, taking down notes in my head of what she was telling me about the design and character of the collection the want to see me making for the shop in the future.
Lisaks sellele õnnetusele kaotasin ära pataka bussipileteid, nii et pidin jälle jala koju tulema. Ja veel üht teist mida ei pea isegi sobivaks siin mainida....
In addition to that accident I lost a bunch of bus tickets, so I had to walk home again. And I had some other mistfortunes I do not consider appropriate to mantion here....
Kõik see juhtus minuga põhjusel, et keerasin taas põhjaliku käki, sest 1) ma ei kuula, mida inimesed mulle räägivad; 2) ma olen isekas nuhtlus ja ei pea kokkulepetest kinni (ning fakt, et mu mälu on sõelapõhi ja alalised kodused närvivapustused ei mõju mu hallollusele kuigi hästi, ei vabanda sellegipoolest mu käitumist) ning 3): ma olen sabistaja ning seetõttu sattun alati järjest hullema supi sisse, isegi kui tahan ainult oma eelmisi vigu heastada.
All of it happened because 1) I do not listen carefully enough, when people tell me something important; 2) I am a selfish little menace and dont hold on to agreements ( and the fact my memory is toast and constant nervous breakdowns have left very little of my gray cells undamaged is no excuse) and 3): I am known for rush actions and thus I get into more and more and MORE trouble trying to make up for my previous mistakes.
Ja sellise käitumisega pahandasin ja kurvastasin ma inimest, kellele ma sugugi halba ei soovinud. Niisiis, karma sai mu kätte....kuigi kellegile meelehärmi põhjustamine iseenesest on minusugusele inimesele juba karistus küll. Kui iga selline juhtum oleks telliskivi võiksin ma end lihtsalt sisse müürida ja te saaksite sellest tuulepeast lahti.
And such behavior insulted and hurt a person I wished no harm to. Karma got me now...although the fact I caused someone to doubt in me and feel bad because of me is a punishment enough. If every such case with me was a brick I would be walled in by now, and you would finally all be freed from me.
Mäletate seda kohta filmis, kus Edward Kevini pästis, aga inimesed nägid vaid kuidas ta poisile haavu tekitas. Minuga juhtub alatasa niimoodi...või on asi sellest, et ma ei saa aru, kui palju ma tegelikult halba teen, ja neil on õigus....
You remember the spot in the movie where Edward saved Kevin, but when people arrived they only witnessed his sharp scissors cutting the boys face? Something like that keeps ahppening to me and I have been cast out too many times...or maybe it is because I dont realize the damage I am making, and they are right...
Aga ma pole Edward Käärkäsi, ma ei saa joosta üles mäe otsa ja muutuda muinasjutuks. Ma olen valinud erineva tee.
But I am no Edward Scissorhands, I have no castle to run to and turn into a fairy tale. I live in the real world, cause I have chosen to.
Nii et mu ainus lootus on, et ma ei jää auto alla või mulle midagi pähe ei kuku. Et ma võiks end kogemata gaasiga õhku lasta või põlema panna, selle pärast ma ei muretse. Nende asjade suhtes pean niigi iga päev valvas olema.
So my only hope is I wont get hit by a car or smashed under something falling on top of me. That I might blow myself up with gas or lit myself on fire is already an everyday concern.


Kommentaare ei ole:

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""Feels that nothing can upset her or phase her and..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

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